DEAR AMY: My best crony of 35 years antiquated a man for over a year — some-more than 10 years ago.
Recently his ex found me online, and we started chatting.
It seems this could lead to a date. We are unequivocally captivated to any other.
However, my BFF says that his ex is still his “property” and that we can’t date him, or a loyalty would end.
I contend that’s greedy and not unequivocally BFF-like. What do we think? Should we go on a date with a ex and let a chips tumble where they competence (I’m not removing any younger) or do as my BFF wants and keep my stretch from his ex? — Bewildered in CT
DEAR BEWILDERED: we determine that your ex is being greedy and unreasonable. The government of stipulations on dating his ex upheld during a indicate he announced his ex to be his “property.” That is offensive.
At this point, we should do what we wish and let a chips tumble where they may, partly since your BFF’s refusal to “let” we pursue this attribute has already shop-worn your friendship, and we competence need new friends soon.
But we wish we dual can work this out. You should know that he feels threatened, and if he has any legitimate reasons for we not to pursue this attribute (other than a “property” defense), we should hear him out. He should be some-more inexhaustible and guileless toward you.
DEAR AMY: we know I’m not a usually chairman to face this situation. we have aged kin who need me, and my daughter vital distant divided who also needs me.
I returned to my hometown 10 years ago since of my parents’ health.
They are now in their mid-80s, though other than my mother’s dementia, they are doing well.
My daughter and son-in-law live on a West Coast and have 3 children, dual with autism. I’m timid shortly and wish to settle circuitously my grandchildren, though my kin have regularly stressed that they design me to stay here.
I’m an usually child, though my kin have an endless network of friends, other kin and some-more than sufficient retirement income.
My daughter’s family is struggling with a final of caring for their children.
I have terrible shame about wanting to pierce and vigour from my kin to stay, some of that is financial. However, I’m picturesque about any intensity inheritance; an extended nursing home stay could simply revoke that to nothing.
I feel as if I’m watchful for my kin to die before we can resume my possess life. No matter my choice, we desert half my family. What are a criteria for creation such a decision? —Torn
DEAR TORN: we consider when we are faced with dual constrained situations, both sketch we toward them, we have to do what we wish to do, as prolonged as we do your best to ready all parties concerned for a consequences of your choice.
It seems apparent that we unequivocally wish to be circuitously your daughter.
Before relocating permanently, we could exam a waters by going there for a month (check an online apartment-rental site like airbnb.com for a room or unit to lease nearby). This competence make a thought easier for your kin to accept.
Please know that a vigour from your folks competence be since they are concerned and uncertain of their future. Assure them that we will be means to come behind and see them for extended periods.
This pierce on your partial competence prompt them to get some-more domicile assistance or immigrate to assisted living. You should try this with them, since if your mom has dementia, this will means an augmenting aria on your father.
DEAR AMY: The minute from “Anxious Aunt” unequivocally strike home. She is disturbed since her kindergarten nephew loves My Little Pony.
Wow, I’m doubly unapproachable that my son’s kindergarten clergyman got adult in front of his category to speak about how everybody in Japan desired Hello Kitty, after my child had got some grief from classmates over his pinkish Hello Kitty lunchbox. — Ann
DEAR ANN: Change is happening, one darling lunchbox during a time.